Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
