Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
