let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
COCAINE IS GR8
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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