Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
