Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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