I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish i was in the wii world.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize