Plan B is the new Plan A
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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