I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Come see our sink grown plant.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
