I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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