i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
