I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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