Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So many bounce houses so little time
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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