I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
never play flip cup with pint glasses
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Brb crying the tears of my youth
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
