Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
