i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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