What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
