im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
