You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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