Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize