You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
