I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
