I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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