I hate your face
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
