He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
