Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
