Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
