So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
