Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
