There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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