Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
