This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
