I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
