if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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