Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
