I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You can't just leave with hair like that
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize