my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize