Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
