Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
