So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
