he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
