whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
