I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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