They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
