i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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