you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
