Im at strip club and am horny
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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