I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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