yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize