Welp...herpes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
