You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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