and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize