Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
