how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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