I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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