I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
