when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize