im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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