I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize