I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
