i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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