I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The adults are the big ones right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
