I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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