That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
