what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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