there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
