Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
