terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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