i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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