Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
3 2 1 whiskey
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
