You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
