So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize