She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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