My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
